iSkRamboLd th0ugHtS

It is the unfailing fall of rain that sustains the world.
Therefore, look upon rain as the nectar of life.

The rain makes pleasant food for eaters rise;
As food itself, thirst-quenching draught supplies.

If clouds, that promised rain, deceive, and in the sky remain,
Famine, sore torment, stalks o’er earth’s vast ocean-girdled plain.

If clouds their wealth of waters fail on earth to pour,
The ploughers plough with oxen’s sturdy team no more.

‘Tis rain works all; it ruin spreads, then timely aid supplies;
As, in the happy days before, it bids the ruined rise.

If from the clouds no drops of rain are shed,
‘Tis rare to see green herb lift up its head.

If clouds restrain their gifts and grant no rain,
The treasures fail in ocean’s wide domain.

If heaven grow dry, with feast and offering never more
Will men on earth the heavenly ones adore.

Unless the heavens grant their gifts, neither the giver’s generosity
Nor the ascetic’s aloofness will grace this wide world.

When water fails, functions of nature cease, you say;
Thus when rain fails, no men can walk in "duty’s ordered way."

She Says:

1. Kaming mga babae
sulyap-sulyap gani nimo, ayaw pud tawn pafeeling-feeling nga nakauyon mi nimo.
Turn-off na sya.

2. Niingon mi na malingaw mi
nimo, buot pasabot ana nakauyon mi sa imong sense of humor. period.

3. Muingon mi nga gwapo ka, ayaw
pud tawn xa ikarir [Career bah kung inenggles pa] ha. Syempre mudayg pud mi sa
imong panagway pero plis lang, ang atay tawn ang padak-a dili ang ulo. Turn off
pud nang habugeroon ug hambugero na lalake.

4. Mangutana gani ka sa amo,
labi na anang mga bahin sa detdet [Date pa kung sa iningglis], ayaw pud mu’g
ngisi sa tanto kay makulbaan mi ana. Abi palang namo’g manyak ka.

5. Kung musabay gani ka namo,
plis lang, ayaw pud tawn anang mura ka’g bag-ong mata. Taronga gamay ang panamit.
Kana pung samot mi’g ka in lab nimo.

6. Sa inyong pagpanguyab, ayaw
pud idiritso na "pwede ko manguyab nimo?" or "do i hab a chans
widju [do i hav a chance with u]" kay kung mutubagon namo na, mura na pud
ka namo’g kisugot. kaibalo mi makakulba ang pagpadayag.

7. In releyson wid d prebyus
powent, tagai pud mi’g time to tink it ober. ayaw pagdali kay di ni lalim atong
sudlan noh. kung nagtink pa mi, ayaw pud mi’g pangutan-a na "so unsa naman
imong desisyon" o "kanus-a man ko nimo sugton". nagtink pa lagi
mi, wait lang.

8. Sa higayon na manag-uyab na
ta, taronga pud mi plis. dili kay makurat nalang mi kay nilakaw ug kalit,
biya-biyaan lang, away-awayon lng, sugo-sugoon maski daghan na mi’g kibuhat.
bai, unsa’y imong kipangita, sulogoon? Okesyonali, plis dont porget "to
remind us dat u lab us". para kiligon pud mi panagsa.

9. Ayaw sad mi ikompara sa
inyong ex-gerpren kay lahi raman mi. maka insecure man pud na xa. pwera lang
kung imong isturya katung panahong poise kaayo siyang naglakaw na naslide sa
basa na salog. por syur i will lap wid u.

He Says:

1. Kung muingon mi nga gwapa ka,
ayaw dayon tubag ug "atik!". Panagsa ra mi mu dayg ug gwapa.
obyusleh, kung gitawag ka nga "gwapa" naa jud mi enteres nimo.kinsa man sad kuno ang tarong nga laki
tawagon kang "bati’g nawng!" atubangan sa kadaghanan.Di kaha mi
katilaw ug plying kick ana?

2. Mangutana gani mi kung
kanus-a imong RD ug kung abelabol ba ka ana, kana nagpasabot kung pwede ba ka
ma detdet (DATE ba sa ininggles).ayaw sa mi baraha kay magutana lagi mi nimu ug
strait.amo lang gityming-tyming kay mauwawon man sab tawn mi mga kwanggolon.

3. Kung nakabantay na ka nga
nagsige na mi ug sunod-sunod nimo, maka-baynte na mi ug grit nimo gud morning,
or ikaw na lang pirmi tagdon, makig dungan ug uli bisan nort ug sawt, langit ug
lupa ang gilay-on sa atong balay wid matching "Ako lang dala sa imo tings
beh!", kana ganahan jud mi nimo.Pero sa pirmi na2ng kinuyog ug detdet, ayaw sad pangutana ug
dali-dali "Wat r we?" or sa binisaya pa, "Unsa man jud diay
ta?".Inahak, makulbaan sad mi gamay.we also feel a bit presyur.Kalma lang
gud.musulti lagi mi in dyu taym. =)

4. Kung kahibaw na jud ka nga
ganahan mi nimo kay nisulti na man jud mi (hala ka!) Ayaw sad sige hisgot sa
imo Ex-boypren oi..its hurt man sad.not unlis kung nisturya ka sa panahong
gigukod siya sa inyong IRO nga nisutoy siya ug dagan kay por syur I will lap
wid u.

5. Hangyo lang sad, kung
nakakita ka sa imong crush o di ba kaha nakakita ka ug laki nga purting
gwapoha, ayaw sad panguhit namo, "Gwapo kay siya noh?" Hala plis!
Laki intawn mi ug dili pud mi kiligon sa imong crush. Masuko ra ba mo mu
comentaryo mi, "Gwapo pa man akong lolo ana!"

6. Sa panahon nga mag-date na
tah, por syur kami man jud gasto, be konsyus wid yor dayet ha para konsyus pud
mi sa among bulsa.kung kada adlaw na ta date ug nakabantay mo nga chippy ug
tubig na lang among gi-order, KKB na ta ha.salamat sa pagsabot.

7. But op cors labaw sa tanan,
ayaw kaayo ni ninyo siryusuha kay basin mu comantaryo mo, mapikon mo ug ibalik
ni ninyo nako, mamisti mo.Dyok dyok ra ni.

8. Pero kung dili na jud madala
kay naglagot jud mo mga babaye ani.Pag porma dayon mo ug grupo nga Gabriella
(lugar ninyo) chapter.

9. Sa mga lalake, kalingawi
ninyo ug porward pero ayaw sa inyong naibgan kay basin instant basted niya mo
ana!

Pahabol: Kung magpakuyog mo
mirkado.ayaw pud mi paalsaha ug usa ka sakong bugas.Kilo-kiloha pud na.

Tonight,
Tonight
the night of our sepulchral meeting;
Lay
on the riverbed the bones of mammals,
Wrecks
of ancient vessels, scorpions and spiders,
Spiny
lobsters, lampreys, stingrays, wandering
Turtles
and other gelatinous beings.

Wait
for me at the crossroads of your home,
Wait
beneath the shadow of the spectral moon,
Love
shall swim beyond the skeletons of grass
The
ghost of roses, all beautiful reasons.

And
night,
Night’s
the teeth in the green mouth of the moon,
The
moon’s black horse in a dusty plain;
Lead
to your door all ghosts and drifters, vampires,
Opium
users and beautiful losers,
Derelict
ships, broken objects, lost things—

I
am waiting for you with a broken heart,
For
your vampire mouth to kiss my blue-veined throat—
Waiting
for me are crepuscular creatures,
Wet
orchids, sick violins, blood-stained guitars.

Lately,
it’s been hard dealing with depression. Most of the time, I view my depression
as something healthy and therapeutic, something that motivates me to do
something such as write my thoughts in the form of fiction. Lately it’s been
different.

Except,
maybe, for this special instance that I am able to write my opinion, I’ve been
stuck in this most peculiar type of depression and I’ve been bearing it for the
longest time of my life. A type of depression that seems permanent and other
minor depressants seem to ass up. Finally, pen made contact with paper and my
thoughts poured once again.

Is
there some way that I could stop everything even for a little while? Like, why
can’t I make my life’s events pause for a while as if I’m playing a computer
game—when I want to take a break, I just hit pause, wander for a while and
resume when I feel ready. Or when it all gets rough, I save the data, store it
and leave it there until I want to continue playing it.

Maybe
I already know the answer but I’m too stubborn to acknowledge it. There are
other ways to deal with things. But, like the coward that I am, the most
resounding resolution to me is running away—without a place to go, without
money or support from people who care for me.

“Cowards
run away and only the brave face the dragon,” a very close friend once said.

Yeah,
read that right. I’m a coward and a hypocrite. Said it once and I’ll say it
again: I’m the world’s greatest hypocrite. Here I was telling my friends not to
run away from problems rather they should deal with them head-on and they
actually listen to my advice! Now it’s my turn to receive advice, I shake my
head fervently and say it won’t work. I’m hopeless.

I
could only dream that I could utter the words “Hang on a sec, take two please,”
and bring my whole life to a pause until I’m once again ready to stride, rather
than run away from it all. However, due to several circumstances, I can’t.

Here,
as I continue to pour my thoughts on paper, time continues to tick. My life
goes on and time won’t stop if I stumble, fall and wrong. I only have two
choices: pick myself up, admit I made a mistake and get on with my life or
leave myself in the dumps, blaming myself for being stupid.

Knowing
myself,… I wouldn’t know what to do.

I
wouldn’t care anyway.

–iSkRaMboL
080805

Warning: Edited
for aesthetic and moral purposes. Not for public distribution. Plagiarizers
will be dealt in a way most appropriate for scumbags with no sense of honor and
justice.

My Hypocrisy

A friend once commented ’bout me
being an ironic person. I guess she’s right. Now I have to watch my mouth
before I vow that I will never, ever do whatever I think I hate to do.

Remember the line "The
higher you climb, the harder you fall" or something like that. Newton proved this through the Physics
concept of linear motion: an object in free fall at 9.8 m/s². Not
many months ago, I started the hike by swearing that I will never, never, ever
get enticed into playing this stupid game called Ragnarök Online. For a few
months I’ve gallantly kept my word but one split second decision brought forth
the downfall of my strong stone barrier of self-control and steel pride.

Physics aside, I will now state
solid facts in my defense to prove the italicized statement above true.

First of all, never start with
swearing; written, verbal or the like. I clearly remember that I vowed never to
play Ragnarök. I did every kind of denial and turndowns the way a 10-year-old
would. I’ve filled several sheets of paper with words such as "I will
never play Ragnarök", "I shall never play Ragnarök" or "I
shouldn’t play RO." I penned every word with vengeance, driving the pencil
with such force to make the words blot on the next few pages. I said the same
words over and over like a Buddhist chant every time my friends try to entice
me to play. Every time they did, I spit every word at them with passion ’til
they shrug their shoulders, hang their heads in resignation and declare to try
harder the next time ’til I give in.

They eventually found my
scribbles of anti-Ragnarök content and scratched every word to twist it to
their advantage, making it seem like I’ve changed my mind and decided to become
a pro-Ragnarök overnight.

Next. Trust me when I say
curiosity really killed the cat. Or in my case, curiosity nailed the cat
[yes, I am a feline]. Yes, I was curios why people don’t mind paying twice the
usual fee just to play RO [I shall address Ragnarök as RO starting now]. And
even more jealous that my constant companions, my beloved Daddy Worm and
dreaded Tito Bugz aka Usagi-chan, were always talking, discussing and debating
over RO. Jealous that I couldn’t relate to what they were talking about. It
made me feel like the world denied me something good and I’m the only one
clueless about it [I'm talking out of my observation of my barkada].

Ever since RO came into their
lives, gone are the days we’d talk merrily about Starcraft or Diablo
2/Expansion or Pokemon. Every
conversation we had was about RO–more like them having a jolly talk and I
ignorantly look back and forth, trying to make sense of what they’re saying.

So when Daddy Worm told me about
Level Up! giving out free 3-day trials for RO, I took the chance. I didn’t grab
it like an eager beaver but I took it with my thumb and pointer finger like
picking up something disgusting from the floor. Before I knew it, I was opening
my inbox for my database-assigned password. The next day I was clicking away
with the mouse, pathetically slashing those awfully cute critters at Prontera
Field.

I expected that it’d be easy as
uttering the divine name of my husband, Yoh. In truth, the blasted critters
were killing me time after time after time I provoke their beastly wrath that
I’ve underestimated. Over-all, my first RO experience was so dumb I could
practically scream oaths and hurl the monitor across the room all the while
garnering a gold medal for best monitor-throw. In other words, my first RO
account’s experience grossed me out and frustrated me so much that I was
practically preaching "RO sucks" to the world. For me, I’ve had
enough experience to relate with Daddy Worm and Tito Bugz. Now our
conversations took a new turn—them praising RO while I bastardize every single
thing I could bad-mouth.

After that experience, I resumed
my anti-RO stand however, this time, my dislike didn’t have much fervor like
the last time. Pathetic images of a blue-haired chibi novice called
Anna_DarkShadow roaming across the Prontera Field and bwaping critters such as
furry Lunatics, pink Poring blobs or crawling Fabres, maybe an occasional hard
Pupa or two, flashed through my mind. Those memories always left me feeling
guilty for not giving RO a second chance.

Now, as I reminisce my anti-RO
days, I give myself several mental kicks as punishment for my hypocrisy. I
realize now that after my long and tedious hate-hike, gravity has finally
overpowered me and I came crashing onto the ground. Now I am one of those crazy
people addicted to this double-priced game. And the sad truth is that I admit
it and I am proud of it. My feet are firmly standing their ground despite my shattered
pride and broken spirit.

RoK On, Ragnadiks!!

Asakura Anna 69

060504